When Did “Body Positivity” Become a Free Pass to Ignore Your Health?

Somewhere along the way, “body positivity” stopped being about empowerment and started being an excuse. An excuse to avoid hard conversations. To dismiss warning signs. To normalize bloating, burnout, blood sugar crashes, insomnia, brain fog, and the complete absence of feeling good—in the name of “self-love.”

Let’s be clear—I’m not here to shame bodies. I work with women every day who’ve spent decades hating their reflection, and I know the mental toll that takes. But loving your body doesn’t mean abandoning it. It doesn’t mean ignoring your labs, your fatigue, your stubborn inflammation, or the fact that you haven’t had a full night’s sleep since 2006.

You can embrace your cellulite and still want to crush a deadlift. You can wear the damn bikini AND ask your doctor better questions about your thyroid. This isn’t about choosing aesthetics over health—it’s about refusing to settle.

Because if your version of body positivity is keeping you stuck, sick, and slowly breaking down… maybe it’s time we redefine what it really means to respect your body.

The Rise of Body Positivity—And Where It Went Off Track

Body positivity started as a radical act of rebellion—and rightly so. For decades, women were force-fed one body ideal: thin, toned, youthful, white, and airbrushed. If you didn’t fit the mold, you were told to shrink, hide, or hustle to change.

So when women began showing up as they were—stretch marks, belly rolls, cellulite and all—it was powerful. It said: “I exist. I’m worthy. I don’t owe you smaller.”

But then… it got hijacked.

Suddenly, body positivity wasn’t about liberation—it became a shield against accountability. Health concerns? Fatigue? Chronic inflammation? Metabolic dysfunction? If you brought those up, you were labeled “fatphobic” or accused of promoting diet culture.

That’s where we lost the plot.

Because body positivity was never meant to cancel health literacy. It was never supposed to silence women asking why their hormones are out of whack or why their joints ache climbing stairs at 45. It was meant to empower us—not make us ignore what’s really going on.

And yet, here we are: a movement that once gave women their voice back is now, in some cases, discouraging them from taking responsibility for their health. That’s not self-love—that’s self-abandonment.

The Real Definition of Self-Respect (Hint: It’s Not Complacency)

We’ve been sold a lie that self-respect means “accepting everything as it is.” That if you want more energy, or want to lose fat, or want your libido back, you must secretly hate yourself.

Let me set the record straight:
Self-respect means listening to your body—and responding.
It means tuning in when something feels off, instead of gaslighting yourself into thinking it’s “just aging” or “normal for this stage.”

It’s not self-love to:

• Ignore constant bloating or joint pain
• Shrug off weight gain that came out of nowhere
• Accept hormonal chaos like it’s a personality trait
• Blame your “willpower” instead of checking your thyroid

Respect doesn’t mean staying stuck. It means showing up for your body like it’s someone you care about. Feeding it well. Moving it intentionally. Getting curious instead of judgmental.
And yes, sometimes that means calling yourself out when “body positivity” becomes a mask for fear, avoidance, or burnout.

You can love yourself and still want better for yourself.
That’s not toxic. That’s power.

Health Markers You Shouldn’t Ignore (Even If You Love Your Body)

Let’s get one thing clear: you are more than a number on a scale. But that doesn’t mean you ignore the numbers that actually tell you how your body is functioning.

Because loving your body should include knowing what’s going on under the hood.

Here are key health markers that matter way more than your jean size:

1. Fasting Insulin & Blood Sugar

Tired all the time? Constant cravings? Belly fat that won’t budge?
Check your fasting insulin, HbA1c, and glucose.

2. Thyroid Function (Not Just TSH)

If you’re feeling foggy, puffy, cold, constipated, or just off, don’t settle for “normal” TSH.
You need a full panel: Free T3, Free T4, Reverse T3, and antibodies.

3. Inflammation Markers

Chronic fatigue, joint stiffness, skin issues? Could be inflammation.
Ask for CRP (C-reactive protein) and homocysteine.

4. Muscle Mass & Strength

Can you carry groceries, get off the floor, open a damn jar?
That’s the functional fitness test that matters.

5. Sleep & Recovery

Waking up exhausted or wired at night?
It could be cortisol and melatonin dysregulation. 

Emotional vs. Physical Health: Why Both Matter

Somewhere along the line, we were told to choose between emotional well-being and physical health—like they’re two separate teams.

Spoiler: That’s a false choice.

You can work on emotional healing and get your labs in check.
You can practice self-compassion and still want to feel strong, focused, and energized.

In fact, trying to “love yourself” while ignoring your body’s cries for help isn’t compassion—it’s disconnect.

• Anxiety, brain fog, and mood swings? Could be estrogen dominance, low progesterone, or blood sugar instability.
• Irritability and overwhelm? Might be cortisol dysregulation.
• Emotional eating? Often a physiological response to hormone chaos—not a lack of willpower.

Stat: Nearly 70% of women over 40 experience symptoms of hormonal imbalance that are misdiagnosed or dismissed. (source)

Your brain chemistry, sleep quality, gut health, and emotional regulation are deeply intertwined. That’s not woo. That’s biochemistry.

So no, it’s not “toxic” to want to feel better in your body. It’s smart. It’s strategic. It’s self-respect.

How to Practice Empowered Body Positivity Post-40

At 44, when your joints are clicking, your sleep is wrecked, and you’re wondering if your metabolism left the chat—you need a deeper kind of self-respect.

1. Focus on Function, Not Just Form

Mobility, strength, balance, energy—that’s what we care about now.

2. Accept Your Reality—Then Act on It

Perimenopause brings shifts. Acceptance is the starting line—not the finish line.

3. Get Curious, Not Judgmental

Ask better questions. Run labs. Ditch shame. Replace it with strategy.

4. Optimize, Don’t Obsess

Track what helps. Drop what doesn’t. Let go of perfect.

5. Redefine “Self-Care” as Self-Leadership

This is your health. Your future. You’re not coddling—you’re leading.

Practical Steps: Love Your Body & Still Level Up

Here’s how to lead your health—not just follow trends. These steps are practical, hormone-smart, and built for midlife resilience.

Track What Actually Matters

• Full lab panel (not just “normal” TSH or cholesterol) • Track energy, digestion, sleep, strength—not weight • Journal mood patterns, especially during cycle changes

Fuel for Function

• Protein at every meal (aim for 30g+) • Carbs with fiber and color—ditch the low-fat myth • No more yo-yo dieting or undereating

Strength Train Weekly

• 2–4x/week of strength-focused training • Choose weights or bodyweight—you need muscle, not sweat • Progress over perfection

Move Daily

• Walk, stretch, bounce, breathe • Not to punish—but to energize and restore

Audit Your Environment

• Unfollow the noise (yes, even “body positive” ones if they’re dismissing your health) • Upgrade your health team—don’t stay loyal to dismissiveness • Protect your energy like your hormones depend on it—because they do

Get Support

• Don’t DIY your hormones or metabolism • Work with someone who gets women’s biochemistry • Ask for help, get a plan, and stop spinning

Conclusion: Stop Settling—Your Body Deserves More

Let’s get one thing straight:
You can love your body and still demand more from it.

This isn’t about chasing a smaller size. It’s about chasing a bigger life—with more energy, more strength, more clarity, and more damn peace in your own skin.

Body positivity was never meant to be a cage. It was meant to be a launchpad.

So no, we’re not here to shame or shrink ourselves.
But we’re also not here to settle for fatigue, dysfunction, or doctors who tell us “you’re just getting older.”

Because we know better now.

We know that real self-love isn’t passive—it’s powerful.
It looks like lifting weights. Eating for hormones. Calling out BS. Choosing strength—inside and out.

This is midlife.
And you are allowed to want more.

Next Steps: Download the 7-Day meNOpause Reset

“Not sure where to start? Let’s reset the right way.”

Your hormones aren’t the enemy—they’re the messengers.
If your energy’s tanked, your belly’s expanding, or your mood’s swinging like a wrecking ball, it’s time to stop the cycle and start fresh.

Download my free 7-Day meNOpause Reset to:

• Reboot your metabolism without starving
• Support your hormones with smart, doable strategies
• Reduce bloat, cravings, and that wired-but-tired feeling
• Start feeling like you again—in just one week

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Grab it here

From surviving to thriving—your move now.
— Lilia

The post Body Positivity is NOT an Excuse for Poor Health: Let’s Get Real first appeared on Doing Everything Right… But Still Can’t Lose Weight After 40?.

The post Body Positivity is NOT an Excuse for Poor Health: Let’s Get Real appeared first on Doing Everything Right… But Still Can’t Lose Weight After 40?.